Balance

Balance is the secret to the universe. Now you know.

It is why atoms do not like their nuclei to be separated and why we don't all fly off into space from the cetrifugal force of the earth's rotation. Good old gravity has always got our backs.

We also have just the right balance of particles in the air around us that allows us to breathe, even though about three quarters of it is actually made up of nitrogen. Consider the impossibility of putting out a forest fire if all of the air on earth was oxygen. Nitrogen is what they put inside incandescent lightbulbs to prevent the tungsten filaments from burning too hot.

Homeostasis is happening all around us. If you leave a piece of bread on the counter, eventually the humidity level of the bread is going to achieve an equilibrium with the rest of the kitchen. The same is true if you leave a can of beer in the garage. Eventually, it will be equal in temperature to the air around it. Nature, by nature, seeks balance.

Sometimes when the very delicate balances of the natural world are disrupted, it can cause serious problems. For example, over time, as predators like coyotes, bears and wolverines are killed off and their habitats destroyed, then the animals that are further down the food chain overpopulate and overgraze, which causes soil erosion and other problems. Before long, these environmental imbalances can go so far as to change the way that rivers flow... and worse. Nature is constantly reminding us of the imperative of maintaining balance.

I tend to think that balance is an integral part of any artform as well. If you're using blue in a painting, for example, then an orange background will help it to stand out. In terms of the broader aesthetics, a balanced composition tends to make for an interesting image, as it invites the eye to move through it (instead of leading your attention to land in one place). 

When cooking, in most cases, a person seeks to achieve a balance between the various flavor elements at play. This is why cilantro can fuck right off. It overpowers everything else. If you want chocolate to stand out more, add some cinnamon, as this helps to ground it and provide balance. If you want to balance out a heavy umami flavor, add lime juice or some other acid to brighten it. If you put in too much spice, add a little bit of sugar. When in doubt, add ginger.

This holistic balance method is how I tend to approach baking as well. All measurements are approximate and subject to change at my discretion. I know that the fundamental difference between most kinds of dough is the ratio of liquid to flour (and sugar, if applicable). If I know what that dough is supposed to feel like, once I've got the right balance of the wet and dry ingredients, that's when it's ready to knead or bake or whatever. It really is all about having the proper balance. That isn't to say equal amounts of everything, just that each element is contributing to the whole without calling specific attention to itself. You don't taste the flour, the buttermilk, the sugar, the eggs, the vanilla extract, the baking soda or the salt. You taste the pancakes, which is to say that you taste all of these things in proportionate balance with one another. Then maybe you drown it in syrup, because pancakes usually need something sweet to balance out the flavors.

I could go on, as there are examples of this in nearly all of the things that bring us joy. In fact, I tend to think that the key to having happiness in one's life is to seek (or perhaps more accurately, allow) balance at every opportunity that presents itself. It seems that the more balanced I am in my own life, the happier I am. I suspect that this is probably true with most people. 

If I make a conscious effort to take time every day to exercise and nurture my mind (by reading/writing/teaching/solving puzzles), my body (through physical activity) and soul (by playing music/creating art/being with the people I love), then I generally find this to be a day well spent. 

It all comes down to balance.  

Meteor-Bites

I had some buttermilk that needed to be used, so I made some makeshift donut holes. I actually wrote down what I did this time:

2 1/2 cups flour

1 1/3 cups buttermilk (give or take)

4 tsp baking powder

1 Tbsp corn starch

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 cup sugar

1 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

4 tsp fake vanilla extract (1/2 that if using real vanilla)

4 Tbsp melted butter

2 Tbsp melted lard

Mix the dry ingredients, then gently mix in the wet ingredients by hand until it's a clumpy, sticky mess. I used a spring-loaded scooper, tablespoon size (I think, although it might be slightly bigger), to scoop up the clumps of mush and drop them in clean, hot cooking oil. Since I did not have enough oil in the pan to fully submerge them, after a couple of minutes, I turned them over with a holed spoon (but a deep fryer would probably work just as well here). 

Once they were brown on all sides, I drained them on some paper towel, then rolled them in sugar. After that, I put them all on a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet, which I placed in the oven for about twelve minutes at 375°F. They cooked rather quickly in the oil, so I just wanted to make sure that they were heated all the way through. This last step may or may not have actually been necessary. 

They were somewhat misshapen, hence the name, but they were good: crispy on the outside, soft on the inside, and they tasted and smelled a lot like churros. Then again, it's fried dough rolled in sugar. It's pretty hard to go wrong. 

  

The Best Damn Burgers

Here is how it is done: 

The patties are composed of ground beef, salt, pepper, garlic powder and Worchestershire sauce. Fresh meat from a butcher shop is ideal. With grocery store meat, I might add a little bit of MSG (i.e. flavor enhancer/umami), but that's just me. I tend to think that monosodium glutamate has gotten a bad rap over the years, but this ingredient is entirely optional.

Prepare a 9" x 9" baking pan (for four burgers) by lining it with aluminum foil, then cover the bottom of the pan with sliced onions and minced garlic -- plus I like to throw a whole jalapeno in there to be sliced up later. Preheat the oven to 375°F.

Heat a cast iron pan until it's visibly hot. Add a couple tablespoons or so of butter. After it melts, put the burger patties in. Keep the pan hot. Cook the burgers until they are nicely caramelized in the butter. I like to bring them as close to burnt as possible without going over, kind of like The Price is Right.

Once nicely charred, put the burgers in the prepared baking pan. I then pour all of the melted butter/pan juice over the burgers. This is how you make them juicy, charred and without any pink. They're also not greasy, because while the onions and jalapeno are cooked in all that fat, which can then be strained, the burgers aren't. Personally, I can't eat a hamburger that's not cooked all the way through, but in my experience, more often than not, a well-done burger is also dry. This solves that dilemma as well. I also added some chopped up fresh horseradish and put that on top of the burgers, and then I covered the pan tightly with aluminum foil. It cooked in the oven for about a half an hour. 

I often cook bacon on a separate pan alongside it, since the oven's already on anyway, and because I'm from the Midwest. If I put the bacon in five minutes or so after the burgers, then they're usually done at about the same time. 

This evening, I made these hamburgers and served them on some homemade wheat rolls. I challenge you to try this, and then see if you can make a better burger than that. These are so good that I don't even put cheese on them -- and like I said, I'm from the Midwest. 

I might also recommend a bruschetta composed of shredded carrots, chopped tomatoes, chopped mild green chilis, garlic, basil and green olives to top it off. Sometimes I cook a whole tomato in there with the burgers, too. It's messy, but it tastes a lot better than ketchup.